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A First Year’s Guide to Friendships at University

28 February 202227 February 2022By
A First Year’s Guide to Friendships at University

Starting university can be an exciting new time in life, but it can come with challenges like the anxieties that surround meeting classmates and making new friends. It is natural to feel overwhelmed in the first few weeks and it take a while for your feet to hit the ground. Here is my experience as a first year student who usually is very bad at social interactions. 

I am an anxious person who is not a big fan of change so starting university became incredibly overwhelming at times — especially the idea of meeting new people! I remember feeling so nervous and worried about starting university, that when I came across this TikTok of people commenting the degrees that they were doing at City, I decided that it would not hurt to try and make a friend before university began. 

Joining the group chat

In about a week Rida replied and we followed each other’s social media and started messaging. She later invited me to join a group chat with other girls who were planning on meeting for lunch during induction day, I purposely made myself interact more than I usually would, and so on the day of induction, we all met up and went to lunch. Rida’s small gesture of adding me into that group chat dissolved many of my worries and I became slightly less stressed. However, that stress of feeling out-of-place in a new environment does not leave after one positive interaction.

The journey continues 

Soon classes began and I was left sitting by myself. I recognised Rida in one of my classes and sat with her straight away. There was one class where I did not know anyone so I went up to a table and asked to sit. One thing I soon learned is that no one talks about how draining these experiences can be. Especially for someone who is not social in the slightest, these situations can be really nerve-wracking. 

It was in this class that I met one of my favourite people that I’ve ever met in university — Saira. Our interactions started a bit odd -—there was a girl who spoke in a slightly rude manner to our tutorial leader and we made eye contact, raising our eyebrows!

We later helped each other with a task and the rest is a bit of a blur, if I am honest. We were talking on our way out of City about the routes we take to go home and figured out that we go to the same station. This excited us probably way too much and we travelled home together. In retrospect before travelling together we probably should have gotten to know each other more but the train ride home gave us plenty of time. We soon learnt that we had much in common and that is how our friendship began. 

Looking back on it, I made about three friends in the first week and called it a day. The girls I met were lovely and I was absolutely finished with being more social than I had to be. Although I have made some incredible friends at university so far,  I am really learning to love my own time. I have some relatively large gaps in between seminars and I am learning to explore by myself and to even sit and enjoy it. 

This year I have been inspired by social media to indulge and romanticise my university experience as much as possible. It wasn’t too difficult at the start but sometimes I struggle, and it is hard to realise that it is not just me who is experiencing these worries and stresses. The main stress I felt and many others feel is that that everyone is simply putting up with you and secretly hates you and would much rather you not talk to them. This can sometimes be brought about by a small change in tone or behaviour and it plays on people’s minds, yet, this is not the case all the time, at all. Most people are as nervous as you are. Luckily, Saira was the first friend I made at university that truly left me feeling like all feelings were reciprocated, and we matched energy really well.

Meeting new classmates and making friends at university has been overwhelming at times but I have had a much better experience than I imagined I would. Although I am not a fan of change I think this experience was much needed to bring me out of my shell and I cannnot wait to see what else it brings.