Celebrating Ramadan away from family for the first time can be challenging. Noshin Chowdhury shares her best advice for spending the month alone in a new city.
Ramadan takes place in the ninth month of the Islamic calendar, though the date changes each year. Ramadan is the holy month of fasting and one that Muslims often look forward to for many reasons, aside from bringing themselves closer to God and building on their faith.
It is also a chance to cleanse yourself from the bad habits and repent for your sins. For me, it’s about attempting to lose old habits and gain new routines that benefit me, not only as a Muslim and as a way of getting closer to God, but to improve myself as an individual. Everyone sets different goals for themselves at this time, whether that be to finish the Qu’ran, to pray on time or to have taqwa (consciousness of God). I make a list at the start of Ramadan to keep track of what I want to achieve. This year, it is to improve my knowledge by researching the meaning of my prayers and to raise more money than I did last year to provide iftar for those in need.
Establishing routines
It’s crucial that my targets are maintainable and realistic. Ramadan is only a month, and oftentimes, we try to cram in lots of resolutions after a year-long wait. Such habits can often take a toll on our ability to create a balance with the rest of our daily activities such as balancing studies, hobbies, social life and work. Particularly for me this year, I have found attending my classes, those 9 am lectures in particular very difficult. Waking up for our meal before sunrise and then attempting to get a few more hours of sleep in before a long day at university can be challenging. This is why incorporating and adjusting your routine
can be a big help to get the most out of this holy month whilst also keeping up with your daily commitments. What keeps me going some days is remembering that our Prophet (SAW) and his companions fought battles whilst keeping fast.
Needless to say, trying to maintain a routine of waking up before the afternoon was hard to adjust to while continuing to go to football practice, gym and attend lectures. However, with the help of scheduling my day on an hourly basis, I have been able to find a good balance this past week. I would recommend apps like calendar or structured to do this. I also use a Ramadan planner to track my good deeds, water intake and to reflect on my days. Often our health may be neglected, therefore it is important that we stay hydrated and get enough nutrients after we break our fast. I do this at the end of the day when winding down, as it gives me a chance to reflect, update my daily goals and log what I am grateful for. A book that I would recommend if you would like to increase both your knowledge and reflect on topics such as responsibility, gratitude, forgiveness is Ramadan Reflections by Aliyah Umm Raiyaan.
Other ways to embrace Ramadan
Whilst this sounds like a great routine, it isn’t like this everyday! During the first few days, I found myself waking up at three in the afternoon feeling extremely unmotivated and upset with myself. However, it is important to remember that it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed during Ramadan, as our bodies are not used to this strange routine. At the same time, you are not advised to fast if you feel unwell or if you feel as if fasting is putting yourself through some intolerable hardships. There are many other ways for you to connect with God in this holy month, such as providing more sadaqah (charity), listening to podcasts about Islam or the Qu’ran, reading Islamic books and updating your knowledge on the religion.
Combating Homesickness
Aside from physical illness, many of us may suffer from homesickness. I felt a sense of irregularity and isolation at the start of Ramadan as this is my first Ramadan without my parents who live in Hong Kong. Though celebrating Ramadan and Eid in Hong Kong as one of the two only Muslim students in my year group was strange at times, I had grown accustomed to this uncanny feeling of being the odd one out. It is much different celebrating Ramadan in London, where there is a more significant Muslim population. Many of my friends go back to their families to prepare iftar and to break their fast together.
I must admit, a form of jealousy had grown inside me of missing my family, until I recently found that there are many societies — not only at City, but all over London — that host iftars and Ramadan events for all Muslims. I went to an iftar for international students held by City ISOC and it was a great way to meet other women who are in the same boat as I am.
This month can be particularly lonely for revert Muslims as well who are surrounded by a family who have not converted to Islam with them. However, a place that you can visit to instantly feel much better is the mosque. Ramadan is quite communal, particularly in East London, with a chance to pray together. I visited a mosque in the city for the first time and though I was suffering from homesickness, I found a similar feeling of family and belonging being surrounded by my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters during the first night of Taraweeh.
Taraweeh is a long night prayer performed uniquely in Ramadan. Taraweeh translates to ‘rest and relaxation’ and is a highly rewardable act of worship. This feeling of relaxation and calmness is often gained after praying as Taraweeh is quite long. Afterwards, I felt a sense of achievement and gratitude to be surrounded by so many individuals who also share the same purpose as I do. It was quite different from praying Taraweeh at home with my mum in our apartment in Hong Kong. But this change was one I enjoyed.
Moving away from home, you will be exposed to new ways of celebrating your religion. My advice to you would be to embrace it and gain the full experience of celebrating Ramadan in your new city. I’m sure there are many university students who have moved away from home who can relate to being away from family during a special time. Waking up alone at four in the morning and having a bowl of cereal is cold and lonely. Despite this, I am lucky enough to have found others to celebrate this Ramadan with.
I often break my fast with my two older sisters who try their best to replicate my mum’s Ramadan specials including chana (chickpeas), aloo chop (cutlet fritters), biryani and more; they do quite a good job at it too! Aside from this, I have also been given a chance to learn how to prepare my own iftar meals. Moving away can be scary for anyone, especially the cooking part if you haven’t been taught to cook growing up. I can now gladly say I’m a kebab-cooking master!
I’ve also been breaking my fast with my colleagues at work during our 6-9pm shift a few days this week. What a wholesome experience this is; sharing dates, little bites of our iftar during our 15 minute break and then proceeding to pray together before getting back to work. This is a different form of luxury I did not have back in Hong Kong where the population of Muslims is much lower.
It is important to remember that Ramadan is also focused on gratitude. While moving away from home and spending some days eating meals alone can be tough, there are many opportunities to learn in the process. There is a chance to explore and connect with other individuals who too are in the same boat as you. There is a chance to thank Allah SWT for the luxuries you have been given of a roof, food, and his love for you throughout this time.
The biggest thing I learned from spending Ramadan alone in a new city is to embrace the many changes you will face and to take away the things you liked from specific experiences. Whether that be a new dish you tried from an iftar, or praying at a mosque rather than at home, praying with friends instead of praying with family as you used to. There are always two ways to look at things. You can look at your situation in a pessimistic way or in a way of blessing and as a form of a lesson.
Ramadan Mubarak!